Don't always stay in your 'place.'

I am here to ask you (whoever the you's are) to reach out to someone today. It's the most I can muster up as for some reason I am sitting here, an emotional bumbling mess, because I am thinking of those I can't be near, more often. It's been sitting heavy on my heart.

It's been some time since I have lost someone personally that I was close too. Not that it matters, because truth be told, I feel a sense of that loss for anyone that loses somebody, even if it's someone I don't know well. One of my favorite things to do is reach out to someone and give them a much unexpected full hug. I LOVE HUGS.

But as I type this, I can tell you that we need to reach out to grieving people, happy people, unsure people and then some. Even if it may be that we're afraid because we don't know what to say, or want to respect their privacy or, I love this one, "don't want to give them the wrong idea that you may be paying attention to them."

I personally have never been one to feel the need to stay in my place in those respects. But what has become clear to me is that the phone calls, text messages, emails and yes, even the facebook posts are an immense help to everyone!

This involves knowing our own power and what our simple words and gestures can bring to another human being. We must have self-esteem to realize that "I'm so sorry" or "how ya doing" carries weight, that even if the person doesn't want to talk now, that person may later say "call me, text me, email me anytime, day or night" is GOLD. Even better, hearing that from a dozen or more other people means that no matter what the situation is, that person has a go to option to feel loved. OH- and if there was a matter of a disagreement, pending release of things owed or borrowed, work it out later or don't, but remember. We are all humans. We all have that top layer to us where our thoughts direct our choices based on our values, goals, intent and beliefs.

Thoughtful acts like taking step out of place, are not only strokes for the receiver, they produce warm feelings for myself when I reach out assertively. Even if it is possible comedic sarcasm :) I never worry about objection anymore, a common excuse for avoiding assertions! These movements involve concern for the other person, and some courage of my own. Yet, realistically, who could reject such a kindness? And really, why would you think people are stalking you? There is a reason they are friends with you from somewhere.

It used to be for me that facebook, myspace, livejournal and so much more were just for fun. I used to think; why do we need to communicate with so-and-so from high school or a former co-worker when we've been just fine without contact for all these years?

I'll tell you why. Because that former high school friend whom I spent every day with in some way or co-worker whom I had a nice rapport with forever ago may be the one who writes to me with advice, comments or support that fills me with glorious happiness for even a moment. The person that I connected with, even fleetingly, might be the one that recommends a fabulous book when I'm ready to seek someone else's written word. For instance, I received an unexpected package of venison jerky last week from an old high school pal who knows how much I MISS venison! (yes I am an hunter, have missed it a few years, but it's in my blood)

Because of sheer volume, responses to things on any social site can be where I go again and again to breathe my way through a tough moment, to divert me for a little while as it all sinks in. It makes all the rest of it better, it causes for other ways of thinking and concepts, it shows us the friends and family who are physically there and whose voices and hugs bring much-needed love. It's been a topic of discussion in our house as to why others do or don't reach out more often.

And while my focus here might be on doing this in happy times, my strong suggestion holds true –of course– in sad, questionable and troubling times too. Ask anybody who has experienced an outpouring of birthday love on a social site if that isn’t pause for gratitude and a refocus on priorities. It is community love, concentrated, intense and reverberating.

Reach out, people. Really. Different faces, different places and all different walks of life.

The voice that carries you.

Ok; so a little career related spillage today.

I'm realizing more that the sound of my voice is the most intimate part of my communication and the public part of myself. I thought it made more of an impact on when I was doing "sales" previously in front of a crowd, but the voice I carry means so much more than that. It's the voice that says "I love you" to my children and my husband. The voice that sternly picks up when I have lost patience, the voice which shows how I care about others and their life. AND, the voice that EVERYONE else hears every time. One would think that I would want to listen to myself with the same attention and thoughtfulness that I would examine a photograph of myself for my facebook or for my walls in the house. But no. There are several reasons why I am reluctant.

• I did not evolve hearing my own voice as others hear it. (I DID evolve with the ability to see myself on reflective surfaces like water.) It is psychologically shocking to hear the voice as it is ‘out there’ and not as it sounds in my head during the act of speaking.

• I am highly skilled at reading the voices of others. Sadly, I sometimes make judgments based on this information. I feel exquisitely vulnerable when my own voice falls within this sensitive analytic radar. It's almost a high though as I find I feed off it.
  

• I know how to smile and comb my hair and otherwise manage my visual impact. But, I do not completely know how much I can improve my vocal image.

It's a little intimidating when there are so many technological advances in audio recording that I am unaware of, but I am determined to make it sound better with good equipment and listening to my voice objectively. (without a damn answering machine)

The moral of this story:

1. You can improve the sound of your voice. In your life, the way you speak to others, the way you speak to yourself internally too. You don’t have to be stuck the way you are.
2. Start with focused listening to determine what aspect you would like to change. We're already making changes, I'm making changes. I have made my first step.

The Cat Is Out.

Remember the times when all you did was just go through each day "living the life?" Those moments when you know you are planted and will be staying in a house for quite a while kind of feeling. We've be planted in our home for 4 1/2 years in South Central part of the state. We live on a pretty nice corner lot in town, where the yard stretches out into a fun play place. Only downfall to our yard is that there is a fence missing and that there are little valley's of hills. Everywhere!

SO when it rains it drains. All the way to the back of our yard to be exact. It can be quite the hassle when you want to go in the back and trudge around! Our deck is sweet; we've grilled there a lot and had birthday parties outside too. My house catches the full midday sunshine and I plant my butt in my laundry folding spot on the floor in the light of our front of our window often. My son spoke his first real words here and bravely pulled his first tooth two teeth this week! My daughter first learned how to walk, turtle talk and dance here. We moved to our spot right when things started to get smoother early in our marriage. There have been a lot of really good times, memories of our dude going to school the first time too.

Well, the lights are quite bright these days as our family is going to be making the transition from our current grounds to a new "stomping ground." Sometimes making decisions for yourself other than your kids (whom have always come first) can be a task. We've found it has been more recently, as we have made a choice to plant ourselves elsewhere as of summer this year! This is a HUGE change for us, but a very positive one for our family as a whole. I think we came to an agreement that we would move when our kids were younger, but the simple fact of what I WILL be up to in the future kind of just made it happen for us!

Our future plans will move us about an hour North of where we reside currently. Not only will this allow us to be closer to home to be with our children more often, but it will also reduce the drive time for the both of us. The other thing we realized is that the things our family is generally interested in; just don't happen close enough to where we live now. Also, we're excited to find out that the place we we're considering actually has a wonderful school district! Means easier transitions for the lil kiddos.

AND, I have to note this post as a dated admission and commitment that, I will be attending school come fall of 2012! I mentioned how I needed to make the scheduled things happen, and they are happening quickly! I found the passion which I will pursue. I will be studying and enhancing my radio personality and broadcasting career! I'm going to make a commitment to find something I can "dig" outside of being the other titles. I know it's going to be successful and we will make more changes in the future. I'm already set to go with admissions~ so there is that!! I'm excited. I'm ready.

The hubby is excited about not having to endure the long drive to work and back home time. I can understand why! But, he drives everywhere, and it will save on some gas money on his vehicle, and mine too. Making the move is going to give me an opportunity to pursue the marketing and promotions side of radio, which could open more doors. I am highly considering doing podcast programs for more practice! So I have to ask~ if you read this, de-lurk yourself and let me know if you'd listen in.

New adventures really are the beginning of better roads for our family. The changes will mean greater chances for doing those things we love, which includes; music, theaters, festivals, dining & expanded grocery stores! I am really excited about the new grocery store opportunities we will have closer to us. Call me silly, but any Mom with an allergen induced kid will understand. SO I will continue to be a full time stay at home Momma until the leaves turn amber shades of yellow. The lil girl will be headed to preschool too. This will be quite the test to see if she "really" wants to go as bad as she says she does! The preschool screening was nerve racking to be honest. Here I was thinking they were going to tell me she was socially not ready, her love of turtles needs to be analyzed and that she loves her Mom too much. Well apparently I was wrong, as they said she's developmentally ready. I feel like I am not ready to hear about the first time she has a note come home about her telling teachers "NO" too many times! I have faith in my SWC, lots of it. And I also have faith she will be a challenge at times, ha ha.

June is going to come quickly. So why am I announcing this here?

A few reasons. 1. Because I have family and friends that are regularly associated with me via the internet! It's not a bad thing, we are just associated with each other more often on the internet than other places it seems. I want to honor these friendships, associations and family ties by giving it a bit of time to process and then I can always answer questions via the webbernet the same! 2. Because I want to write about some things related to transitioning and some lessons I am learning. And well, I can't write about transitioning if I haven't announced it, so here it is.

This is our first time even thinking of moving (and taking it seriously) since we knew this town was a great place for our kids. We've been extremely thankful for living where we do. It has taught me so much as to what we love as a family and I feel extremely lucky to have discovered our town when we did. Now on to another town and new roads, literally- NEW ROADS!!! When they will ever fix the roads around our current neighborhood is beyond my knowledge.

So that's it. The cat's out of the bag!