These days I often hear the same stuff over and over again with respect to many things of course. And it all has to do with the word moderation. Eat, drink, exercise, sleep, spend money, watch t.v....all in moderation. Obviously there is a point; neither too much nor too little. Find the balance, that middle road the halfway point.
This is all well and good in my mind. But not in love
Caution has no role in love. Love should not be moderated. Romance implies abandon. Romantic gestures are often absurd, you know the stuff that you only see on t.v. or on YouTube videos and the stories that you pass on to your children and grandchildren. Generally these don't fit into schedules---and that's the point.
They're romantic because they don't make sense. I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC. Ridiculously.
This goes for small gestures too. Coffee in bed or in the morning together period, a note in a lunch, a random text in the middle of the day--these are not things that need to be done or that advance some bigger plan. These are those little things that show that someone took time out of their day specifically to take a moment to think about you to send you that message, that someone chose to think about you rather than the million other god forsaken things that go through our heads at any time of day. These things don't make sense from a planning point-of-view. AND they're very romantic for it.
I have given a lot of thought to these things in the last few weeks and I gave thought to the things that are often said; hell even I have said them about love and relationships that reflect caution, but I don't think they belong in the world of love and romance.
~ "Let's slow things down." Why would you want to? Life is too short- if you find someone you like and who doesn't run away from you, then for fucks sake just GO FOR IT.
~ "I need some time." We all need time, but tell me...what are you possibly going to do with it that's better than spending it with a person who makes your heart race? What the hell are you spending that time doing anyway? Probably wondering if you should be with this person instead of just being with this person. I'd rather spend time deliberating my monthly budget and my cell phone plan. Not romance.
~ "I don't have room in my life for this right now." Because everything you have going on in your life right now is so important that it doesn't leave a second for a special someone. Because nothing else that matters to you COULD actually mean more with someone to share it with. Because you might even think that love is a competing priority versus a presence. It's not either/or--it can be both, and both is pretty fucking fantastic.
~ "I don't want to get hurt again." Sure, just prolong the dull ache of loneliness instead. That's much better. And really, don't worry about the euphoria before the pain, that doesn't count. Not at all (Please.) Even I know that being afraid to live is to accept death far too early--why is it that we think the same way when it comes to love?
I'm sitting here typing next to my little girl while she watches her brand new (absolute fave!!) movie Frozen.
And they're playing the song "Love Is An Open Door." Because it really is. Love can open more doors than you can count keys on your heart (key) ring. The last thing I will ever do is to tell her not to trust her heart. There is part of protecting her heart that I will teach her. I will cry with her when she experiences heartbreak, I will hold her close when she considers the man that she just "Let It Go" with decides to use one of these above mentioned excuses. And I will tell her..."Honey, you're worth it" over and over and over again.
Because in my world. Romance is worth it. Love is worth it. Living and breathing it in deep while it's in the palm of your hand is worth it's weight in gold. Platinum gold.

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