The Gift Of...

The magic of the holidays, the pretty lights and decorations, the gifts, the wrapping paper, the time you put into figuring out those special things to get the ones you love. I especially love X-Mas, Christmas, Yule, whatever you'd like to refer the time of the year as. 

We take the time to figure out the things to get for those whom we are close to.
Friends, co-workers, daycare givers and possibly your favorite barista at the coffee shop. (yes I have one of those)

I happen to know my favorite thing about presents...it's giving them.  I try to spend extra time thinking of things that my family will love.  I also spend extra time lately determining what it is that makes me feel good about it. Occasionally I will even go past an emotional line and have a near anxiety attack attempting to find the perfect gift. 

But what if...

What if nobody gave me or my children presents anymore.  What if we only gave GIFTS.

The gifts of experience, adventure and more importantly, familiarity that we truly need. Instead of things (toys, games, clothes, more THINGS) that we didn't even really know about or want?  The only thing I truly think my children need is to have more time with their family and close friends.  The only thing I think that my friends and family truly need is to have more time with the ones they truly want in their life.  

Instead of buying my son a toy droid or a video game.  Take him to the Science Museum to see a galaxy.  How it's formed, where the stars line up on a map, what we as humans know to be true about the galaxy and the great battles that are fought outside of our realm of earthly treasures.  Better yet, find a night to go star gazing with him.  Sign him up for a karate class and come to watch him get stronger in mind and body.   Instead of buying my daughter figurines and cute clothes, spend some time with her and bring her to the art center, help me sign her up for a local class like dance, painting or even go as far as bringing her shopping and showing her how to find a sale. 

Although they're always very grateful for whatever it is that they receive, to spend quality time with a family member or a close friend would mean so much more to them than another toy.  See even if you don't have the time, giving them the time of experience and true learning expands their life so much more. 

Don't have a lot of money? (HEY neither do we! It's no big deal!) -- How about just spending some quality time with me one on one, or spending time with the children?  Set a day and take them outside.  Get them to a park, bring them sliding, take them to a movie, take them to a local play place (we LOVE Pump It Up!) Instead of investing in their toy collections, invest in your relationship with them.

I have a good friend whom I've made recently who saw the value in that.  Instead of getting my boy something for his birthday (a material thing) she took him with her and her son to the park. She encouraged her son to invite him over to play with toys. AND HE LOVED IT.  He asks about these friends a lot more often now, and wants to spend time with them because he enjoyed it so much. 

THAT is what I would like my children to grow up with.  Not mountains of toys but experiences with close relationships with the people in their lives who matter most.   

Here is the thing, I constantly think about the what if's:  What if something happened to me?  What if something happened to my children's Dad? They've built strong relationships with some family members, but others are seen on occasion and only for short periods of time.  They're unfamiliar and being young, the kids don't often remember them on special occasions and it breaks my damn heart into a million little pieces.  I remember having those special relationships with my family, I want the same for them so badly.  It will only benefit them in the long run if something were to ever happen to me. 

These are the things I think about... Deep, I know. 
Sorta anyway, there is so much more to this depth that is within me. 

But seriously...I'm going to choose to give more of my gifts...the gifts of presence. The gift of time and love.  It doesn't cost a thing, maybe a tank of gas here and there.  But it's really the only thing they need.  It's generally the only thing we all could use more of.

Be present and allow your presence.