Unlocking

The weekend has come and is now about to go out the door. The weeks have passed and gone with a fury. Yet each day I feel like they are not long enough! I find that keeping up with my kids while attempting to unlock other doors personally can be challenging. Nonetheless, I am going to turn keys, knock harder, break hinges if I have to and show myself it's possible!

Speaking of all things possible; never thought I'd see my son climb up a 25 foot ladder to the top of an inflatable slide only to come down 6 more times with a HUGE smile on his face. I've loved any type of inflatable bouncing castle since I was young. In fact, I remember it was one of the first things I ran to at our old county fair. This is what the air filled fun & the idea of his massive climb looked like. I attribute the braveness to his good pal pushing him along gently with smiles and laughter. Watching boys play and overcome fears is something I have come to appreciate more often. I've appreciated overcoming my own and still do.


While time has sped by, it's allowed me to turn inward quite a bit. Life stopped moving smoothly for a while and I found that I was spreading myself too thin, spending time on things that truly didn't matter. I was not taking moments to assess what I wanted to conquer next. I have always known that there was a reason and purpose I was birthed into this world- but never focused on it. It has has been quite devastating. Seems as though as Wife & Mom I thought that falling into the "place" of what others thought I was, well it was OK and completely normal. Seems like many think it is an assumed title that you give ALL to your kids and family. And believe me I do. BUT- we can't forget we are human, we have passions and we need to feel happy with where we are when those kids move out the door and into their own pursuit of happiness.

Going with the flow has led me to say "yes" to everything and everyone else, except my own interests and needs. As of last year, I have decided to focus a lot of my energy into changing this. So I began redefining the foundation of who I REALLY am and what I bring into this world.

I think that if you are in a transition and ready for a change, or just want to tap into your highest creative potential you have to make it a process: So it has gone like this so far.

1. Evaluating my priorities.

There has been many days, evenings and afternoons during an hour of nap time where I have pulled out a sheet of paper, listened to music at the same time and wrote down important questions. 1. What is important to me? 2. What makes me happy? 3. What would I do for FREE?

My immediate responses were: helping others, working with people and public, being around and listening to ANY music. AHA!! There we have it, these are things I need to work on doing more of.

2. Freeing myself of things that truly don't serve any good.

My best self generally feels energized, alive with smiles and kindness, feels as though I have given and contributed with progress for the better being made. With this in mind I have taken more time to look at my life and all of the things I was doing. For each activity it is mentally noted, Does [X] motivate and energize me? Help move my priorities for myself and my family forward? Provide more opportunities for growth and tapping into more relationships? Play a positive role?

Those questions were HUGE and it flipped the switch of change/no change. So I have ended some things that were not aligned with my purpose, requested that my spouse and I continue to grow in our relationship with counseling, read more books, go see more live performances/shows, give everyone a chance to show me themselves and let go of acquaintances who have purely stabbed me/pushed me the wrong way too many times and tried to play nice later, or are energy SUCKERS.

I've felt like moving to a new area in the metro, scary to think about, but could be better for other paths. I have started to read more (thank you book club), I make it a point to go to more concerts and live shows 3 times a month, started working out on a consistent basis while having a (mostly) clean diet, and have started to surround myself with more people who share the same values, challenge me and help me feel like the best ME. Love is included in here; there is more days where I feel more love for the hubby than ever before, because he accepts ME for who I am, recognizes that I have dreams too and above all; wants to make a better US.

Now I have to move on to step #3- this is coming this week; setting up a structured schedule.

I have used the phrase often in the last few weeks. "There goes my frontal lobes popping again." Oh yeah, I am quite the imaginative gal. I also am very motivated to get things done. But I am also an inflated bouncer. If I kept myself to a more structured schedule daily and weekly, it will get me more excited. I think feeling the most inspired to do MORE is when I do the good work, am active, and include play (with my littles too- they are liking this activity more often but it isn't scheduled...yet) For instance, was this mud mayhem scheduled today? No. Oh hell no! Any Mom who does this may get evaluated as out of her freaking mind. But does it make me happy to see them happy? Absolutely.

Step #4 is coming. I've made a decision where I am going to go with a career path. Someone told me I was getting a late start. I say I've only just begun and only I can determine the end. The locked doors have been found, the keys are on the chain and now to turn them.